


Picking Up The Pieces - Fully Rewritten

by EatingPeaches



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Arnold being a stupid cinnamon roll, Canon Compliant, Connor being a mom, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided McPricely, Psychological Trauma, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, like really heavy angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-03-16 08:00:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13632072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EatingPeaches/pseuds/EatingPeaches
Summary: When Arnold finds Kevin after the incident at the General's Camp, he and Connor have to do their best to help their friend recover.++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++This will be a fully rewritten and massively improved version of the original story that I posted a few years ago.Whether you've read the original or not, you should definitely give this one a try! (Especially if extremely angsty Hurt/Comfort sounds like your cup of tea.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome!
> 
> A few years back I wrote "Picking Up The Pieces" and was really, REALLY proud of it. However, over the last years I have grown as person and have improved my writing quite a lot and have come to be extremely unhappy with the original version.  
> But even though I now hate its writing, I still love the content of Picking Up The Pieces very much, which is why I will be rewriting the entire thing. The style will be similar to the original (only better), some things will be added, some rearranged and others left out entirely.
> 
> That being said, I hope you enjoy this new and improved version of a story that means a lot to me!  
> And please tell me what you think in the comments!  
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> If you want to talk to me, know what I’m up to, or stalk me, you can find me at: elder-gavin-price.tumblr.com :)
> 
> Huge thanks go to my sister for being my beta-reader and making the messy drafts I produce readable!  
> This is her blog: socially-awkward-at-the-disco.tumblr.com

„Look, I’m sorry – I won’t come back again, I promise! Just let me leave!“ Elder Price slowly started to back away from the General, his hands raised in front of him. The bigger man kept walking towards him, closing the gap between them – grinning. The General then leant in closer, until Elder Price could feel warm breath on his face. Instinctively he tried to take another step backwards, but the other man immediately grabbed him by his tie. “Don’t you dare try to walk away from me,” the General growled at him, his face contorted into a vicious scowl.

„Wh-What are you doing?“ Kevin asked, his voice now breaking. Fear surged from the core of his body, through his throat and right into his head. He was starting to think that he could actually be about to lose his life.

The general didn’t answer him, but instead turned to his two guards. „Weka kijana huyo kwenye meza hiyo,“ he ordered, his voice low and menacing.

Kevin felt his arms being grabbed and violently bent behind his back. „Please…“ he whimpered, tears now collecting in the corners of his eyes as he was now sure that he was about to die. One of the guards tied his hands together, the thin plastic band cutting of the blood flow from Kevin’s wrists. He was screaming and struggling now, desperately trying to break loose from the guards, which earned him nothing but a strong blow to the face. He kept on kicking and screaming nonetheless, while he was hastily dragged towards a shabby yet sturdy looking table. With one sweeping motion the General threw all kinds of different items that had been gathered on its surface to the ground, the loud rattling this caused echoing sharply in Kevin’s ears. He was then slammed down forcefully onto the cold metal surface in front of him. The impact knocked almost all the air from his lungs and he struggled to breathe with a new and even larger wave of panic gripping hold of him. He was openly crying now.

„PLEASE!“ Kevin screamed through the tears, a last and desperate attempt to gain the warlord’s mercy. He didn’t want to die – not yet, not here and not like this. It didn’t do him any good of course. The General merely laughed at him. So instead Elder Price decided to keep his pleas to himself and silently prayed instead: _Heavenly Father, please, please don’t let me die here! If you care for me at all, just save me, please! I have worked for you my whole life! HELP ME!_

Kevin tried to get up again one last time, but the guards had him in a painfully bruising grip, leaving him unable to move more than one or two inches. Tears were rolling down his face, a small puddle collecting on the table he was now bent over. The General had disappeared behind his back, both of the guards were grinning at him. These were his last moments, he was sure of it - Thousands of miles away from his family, surrounded by people who kept his humanity in such low regard that doing this was merely a fun mid-day activity to them. Kevin wanted to vomit. He struggled against the strong arms holding him down one last time, much more out of obligation than hope, before finally giving up. So instead Elder Price simply lay there, awaiting his fate. His heart was pumping wildly in his chest, as if it was trying to claw its way out, his breath had almost stopped and there was a maddening ringing in his ears. Kevin thought of his mother, how she’d smiled at him at the airport in Salt Lake City – it seemed like so long ago now. He thought of his father too, of the approving nod he’d get from him every time he’d accomplished something. Kevin wanted nothing more than to be back with his parents again.

Elder Price was then ripped from his thoughts, as he felt two large hands reaching around his waist, meeting at his belt buckle, which soon gave its familiar click of being undone. The hands then started to fumble with the button of his pants. Kevin froze. The General’s body was pushing against his own and Elder Price could hear the man’s heavy breathing. What the hell was he doing? Was he going to strangle him using his own belt? Not being able to see the man, only feel and hear him, made his fear even worse. The button on the front of his pants finally gave way. Kevin couldn’t help but let out a surprised gasp as the General then proceeded to violently tear down his pants and underwear. The General let out a hearty laugh in return. Kevin’s face went red. No one had ever seen him like this. He was completely exposed. He still didn’t know what was happening, _didn’t want to know_ – but he was sure now that the General wasn’t simply going to let him die quickly. First he was going to have to suffer. The panic was getting even worse now and Kevin was desperately gasping for air. It felt as though he would suffocate any moment now. Little black dots were dancing in his vision. The three men around him were loudly yelling and laughing, but Elder Price could barely hear them. Their voices sounded muffled and distant to him, it was as though someone had stuffed wool into his ears. This couldn’t be happening. Not to him. This was just another hell dream - a particularly bad one this time. He would wake up any second now, greeted by Arnold’s stupid face. But Kevin knew this was real, knew he was about to suffer horribly. In his mind he screamed. _Heavenly Father, do something! I BEG YOU: HELP ME!_

Then the General’s hands were on him, _touching him_. Kevin was getting dizzy now. He would throw up or pass out at any minute, he was sure of it. But much to his dismay he didn’t.

“No… please don’t… please…” He whispered softly, most likely not even loud enough for the other man to hear.

And then there was pain. Hot, blinding, burning pain. Kevin screamed. He was being torn open. All around him deep voices were loudly laughing. This was wrong, just plainly, horribly **_wrong_**. His vision started to become hazy and unfocused. The world was wildly whirring around him as though he had been strapped to a giant wheel. Agony. All he felt was sharply burning agony ripping right through him. _Like glass_ , he thought, _shattered glass_. Hands were touching his sunburned skin, pressing him down violently. Heat. Noise. Their voices were so loud, so awfully loud. And the world was spinning. And the pain was burning. And it was too much, just entirely too much. He wanted to faint - wanted to die, but couldn’t. Laughing. – _God_! God had to save him. But he didn’t - and so he had to endure, to suffer. A moth was sitting at the edge of the table, staring at him, uncaring. Kevin stared back at it. He wanted to crush it. Something warm was slowly running down the inside of his thigh. Blood. It had to be blood. He was bleeding. This meant he was injured.

_God just let me die. I just want this to end!_ He thought to himself, but it kept going.

After some time had passed, a hand grabbed Kevin’s hair. His head was yanked back and then smashed back down onto the table with brutal force. A sharp ache exploded inside Elder Price’s head and his vision went fully black for a short moment. He felt his body sliding off the table and slump down to the dusty ground beneath him. The General was towering above him now, but Kevin couldn’t see the expression on his face. Everything was blurry and spinning around him. His mind had almost completely left his body. The only things left were pain, shame and fear. The other man was yelling at him, but Kevin couldn’t get a single word. The moth was crawling on the ground now. His head ached horribly. The ties were cutting into his flesh and his hands had gone numb. His stomach tightened, bile rose up and Elder Price only just managed to roll onto his left side before violently vomiting. He had never felt this humiliated, this _pathetic_.

While Kevin was still retching and gasping for breath, the General knelt down beside him and grabbed him by his hair. He forced Kevin to look back up at him and grinned. Elder Price’s heart almost stopped. He could feel the image of his tormentor’s face being burned into his mind. He could barely keep himself from throwing up again.

 “I hope this served as a lesson to you, white boy.” The General laughed, weightily patting him on the shoulder. The man then got up again, turning away from Kevin and back to his guards.

“Mchukue mbali,” he grunted at them, sounding conversational, almost bored.

The guards moved in towards Kevin, but he barely noticed. Everything had begun spinning again and the black dots he was seeing grew larger and larger until he was surrounded by darkness. Distantly he felt his body being lifted before everything faded away. Finally it was over.

And God had abandoned him.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kevin opened his eyes again he didn’t know where he was. Everything around him was a blur and his head kept on pounding mercilessly. He was lying on his back. His mouth was horribly dry. And _the pain_. Just why was he in so much pain? Almost every part of his body was aching - his head, his eyes, his back, his wrists… And something was wrong, terribly wrong. It made Elder Price feel horribly sick, yet he didn’t know what it was.

At last his vision was finally starting to fade back in. Kevin found himself lying on the left side of an empty road (if you could even call it that), right in the middle of a completely godforsaken desert. _A desert? – Right._ He was in Uganda. He had been sent here by the all-knowing mission president. He got stuck here.

Kevin carefully tried to sit back up. At that a viciously sharp bolt of pain shot through his body, almost knocking him down onto his back again. Kevin couldn’t help but let out an agonized cry at the unexpected sensation. Little dots of light started dancing in front of his eyes. Then he noticed something and almost stopped breathing. His pants and underwear had been ripped down and were now pooled around his knees. And there was blood - decidedly too much blood. And it was his, had to be his. It was splattered on his thighs, on the ground, on his clothes. Elder Price felt bile rising in his throat as memories of the previous hours came back to his mind.

_No. Couldn’t have happened. NO._

Inside his head Kevin was now forced to relive being mistreated and violated in the most disgusting way he could imagine. How his arms had been bent, his hands tied, how he had been thrown onto that table, how he’d been… Elder Price’s heart was beating faster now, his breathing flat and uneven. His muscles went fully numb and he found himself unable to move. The road in front of him was disappearing from his vision once more. He was staring off into the distance now, unable to see anything but the General, distant voices deafeningly laughing in his ears.

Elder Price stayed that way, confined inside that weird, distant headspace, for what seemed like forever. He couldn’t crawl his way back out of it. It felt as though a thick and heavy blanket was slowly but surely suffocating his mind. Finally he slumped back down onto the ground – not because he had wanted to, but because his body was simply too exhausted to keep up his sitting position. Horrible agony rushed through him on impact, which at last managed to wake Kevin from his vegetative state.

_Move_. He had to move. Couldn’t stay here. The sun was burning and he was already feeling terribly dehydrated. And it would be night soon. He needed a doctor and desperately needed water. He had to get back to Kitguli now.

Kevin gingerly started to pull up his pants, trying to cause himself as little pain as possible. This had to be the most undignified thing he had done in his entire life. Terrible, burning shame washed over him. He couldn’t help but take a closer look at the bloodstains soaking the fabric of his clothes. There was quite a good amount of them. Elder Price just hoped no one would notice - he had no desire to explain where they had come from. Luckily his pants were black, yet the blood was still somewhat visible.

Elder Price then slowly and carefully tried to get back on his feet. However, as soon as he had managed to get into a kneeling position, a horrible bolt of sharp agony shot through his body, pooling in his lower back and spine. Kevin cried out weakly and slumped back down onto the ground. Tears were collecting in the corners of his eyes. Everything had started spinning again. Walking was out of the question. He never wanted to feel pain this horrible again. Kevin gently rolled onto his stomach and got up on all fours. Crawling would have to do. Being in this position was still painful, but compared to trying to stand up it was endurable.

Kevin looked around himself and came to a horrifying realization: He had no idea where he was, which way to go to find help. He could see nothing but dusty red earth and a few barren trees. The guards had simply taken him away from the camp and had dumped him in the middle of nowhere, not caring that this meant he might die after all. Or maybe the General was going to come back for him? No, that didn’t make any sense, not at all. Why was he thinking something so stupid? Nevertheless Kevin’s heart was beating even faster now. He wasn’t safe here and he wouldn’t find Kitguli and he could still die - most likely would die - and leave behind a beaten and broken corpse with blood in its pants. Pathetic, something God could look upon and laugh.

Kevin started to feel dizzy again. He slumped back to the ground, barely registering the pain this caused him. What was he even doing here? Why had he gone to this horrible, unsafe place? Just a few days ago everything had been fine, _he_ had been fine. And now? Now he had been broken, demolished, shattered into a thousand pieces. Was this what God wanted for him? Was he being punished? Did God even care at all? Kevin thought about the man who had been shot right in front of him only a day ago. How blood had exploded from the man’s head, covering Elder Price and leaving a vile coppery taste in his mouth. How the man, who had been loving husband just seconds earlier, had sunken to the ground, turned into a lifeless corpse. Kevin found himself wanting to cry, but couldn’t. Instead the little black dots had returned to his vision once again. He was quickly encased by the same darkness he had encountered just a short time ago.

_I am going to die_ , he thought. But maybe that wasn’t even a bad thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm really glad about the positive feedback I got so far! Please enjoy this chapter! :)

Just where in the world could Elder Price have gone to? The other Elders had last seen him several hours ago, as he had run off to try and convert that insane warlord. No one had heard from him since. And who knew what that madman had done to him? Arnold was worried sick. He and the others had been searching for his missing companion for about two hours now and there was still no trace of him. The sun had begun setting about an hour ago and it was starting to get dark. Elder Cunningham was currently driving towards the direction of the General’s camp in some sort of off-road vehicle that Mafala had kindly lent to him. So far he had managed to only stall the engine two times, which was quite the accomplishment for him. The other Elders had clearly advised against going in this direction, having deemed it as way too dangerous. After all it was possible to run into the General or his guards out here and Elder Price was “most likely just sulking under some tree or something like that,” as Elder Thomas had put it. So no one had wanted to go, when Arnold had asked for help. They had stuck to searching within the village. _Cowards_ , Arnold thought. Elder Price could be hurt and in need of help and they were too afraid to even look in the place he’d last gone to. And even though the two of them hadn’t exactly parted on great terms, Arnold of course still didn’t wish harm on his companion. He still liked him after all. He also couldn’t help but feel like Kevin taking off like this was his fault. If his companion had gotten hurt - or worse… Elder Cunningham didn’t want to think about it. He most likely _was_ fine, really just sulking in some hidden spot. Still… Arnold needed to find him - then everything would be good.

After driving for a while he finally spotted something in the distance. About two hundred meters ahead a black and white figure was motionlessly lying on the ground, close to the road. Arnold stepped on the gas pedal and raced towards the shape. He really wanted to find Elder Price, but he didn’t want this corpse-like form to be him. But as he came closer, there really couldn’t be any doubt about it anymore. This unmoving body was his companion, his former best friend. Arnold pulled up right next to him and got out of the car. His stomach was starting to form knots as he took in the sight that lay before him.

Elder Price was lying on his front, his face turned to the side all color drained from it. His hair was completely disheveled, there were tear streaks on his cheeks and his lips were speckled with blood, probably had been bitten open. His shirt wasn’t tucked in and there were a few small patches of dried blood decorating its lower end. Dark, painful-looking bruises were cutting into his wrists. And worst: he wasn’t moving - not at all. Panic rose inside Arnold. If Kevin was dead, he’d never be able to forgive himself. Reluctantly Elder Cunningham crouched down beside his companion, scared of what he might discover. He extended a shaking hand and touched Kevin’s shoulder.

“E-Elder Price? Can you hear me?” Arnold stammered nervously. But the other Mormon didn’t react. Elder Cunningham swallowed dryly. He made himself turn Kevin’s body around, so that his former friend was now lying on his back. Immediately he spotted the large purple-reddish bruise on the right side of his forehead. It looked pretty bad. At least there was no further blood to be seen anywhere. The only weird thing was the fact that Elder Price’s pants were undone. Arnold didn’t know what to make of this, but also didn’t have the time to think about it right now. He needed to make sure whether his companion was still alive.

Anxiously he brought his face down next to Kevin’s mouth and listened. After a few moments he heard something. Breathing. Kevin was breathing! Immense relief washed over Arnold and tears collected in his eyes. His companion wasn’t dead, only unconscious. He could now also see his chest rising and falling ever so slightly. _Thank God._

That feeling of relief was short lived however, as Elder Cunningham then realized that he had no clue of what to do next. Elder Price was unconscious. And there was no one else there who could help or tell him what to do. Arnold was on his own with this, had to carry the all the responsibility. Somewhat panicked he looked around himself. What should he do? What would other people do in such he situation? He tried to remember that first aid course that he had had to go through in school years ago. If only he had paid more attention to it.

Elder Cunningham carefully bent down over Kevin and helplessly looked down at him. “Come on buddy, wake up,” he whispered desperately. How long had Elder Price been out by now? Maybe he needed water? But was it a good idea to make an unconscious person drink something? But what if he was out because he needed water? Or could it be because of that nasty bruise on his forehead? Arnold was panicking more and more by the second, so much so, that he didn’t even notice when Elder Price did slowly open his eyes.

“Wh-what is… where…” His companion looked up at him with a dazed expression.

Arnold’s heart jumped. “Elder Price! Oh my God!” Ecstatically he lunged down and wrapped him into a tight hug.

Arnold immediately felt himself being pushed away violently. “NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!” His former friend screamed and stared at him with a bewildered expression on his face.

Elder Cunningham let Kevin push him away, raising his hands in utter confusion. “I wasn’t…I…”

Elder Price was staring at him with panicked eyes. Arnold noticed tears welling up in them.

“Hey pal, it’s alright it’s just me. I-I just want to help you.” Arnold tried to reach out to touch Kevin’s forearm, but the other Mormon immediately yanked it away and proceeded to cover his face with it.

“I- I’m sorry,” Elder Price sobbed. “I’m so sorry.” His whole body was shaking.

Arnold didn’t understand anything anymore. This wasn’t making any sense to him. He stared down at his companion, unsure of what to say.

“Do - do you maybe want to drink something?” he asked in a shaky voice.

No response.

“I… I’ll just get you some water, okay? Don’t worry. Just stay where you are.” Arnold quickly got up and took the few steps towards the car. What in the world was he supposed to make of this? Why was Elder Price acting like this? Yes he looked a little roughed up, but his injuries didn’t seem too bad, maybe excluding that bruise on his forehead. But all in all… He should be glad that none of his body parts were missing! Arnold got the water from the passenger’s seat and hesitantly turned to get back to try and somehow take care of the mess that was his companion. As he did, he could see that Kevin had shifted into a sitting position, arms tightly wound around his body, blankly staring into the distance. God, he looked terrible.

Elder Cunningham nervously crouched down beside him, raising his hand to put it around his former friend’s shoulders, but then thought better of it.

“I got you some water,” Arnold offered the large bottle while wearing a fake smile. Elder Price didn’t even look at him. “You really should drink something, you know? You’ve been out here for quite some time,” he nervously added.

Finally Kevin silently took the bottle from his hand while strictly avoiding looking at him. Arnold could still see that his face was twisted in pain and… shame? Just what was going on with him? Everything was fine now, right?

As Kevin slowly unscrewed the bottle he had been given, Arnold involuntarily got to take a second look at the deeply purple bruises that tightly wound themselves around his wrists. Those had to be painful. Elder Price quickly gulped down more than half of the water at once and then handed the bottle back to Arnold while still not meeting his eyes. “Thank you,” he croaked in a hoarse voice.

“How are you feeling?” Arnold looked at his companion with uncertainty.

Kevin stared at the ground. He took an awfully long time to answer. “What do you think?”

Right. Stupid question. One glance at his face was enough to know the answer. “What…” Elder Cunningham hesitated. “Could you tell me what happened to you?”

“No,” Kevin muttered in a defeated voice, eyes still fixated on the same spot on the ground. “Just take me home.”

Something about this situation was just so off. After all Arnold could tell that something utterly horrible had happened to his companion and yet he wouldn’t tell him about it. But why? What could be so bad that Kevin was unwilling - or unable to - put it into words? Arnold figured it would have to wait for now and got back up again.

“Okay, great. Uhm… yeah, I - I’ll take you back to the mission center now. And when we’re there you can get into bed and rest and I’ll get the doctor for you… if you need one that is?”

Elder Price didn’t answer him - he just carefully nodded, while still avoiding his eyes. Talking time was apparently over. Arnold sighed and spun around to get back in the car.

“Elder Cunningham…” Surprised he turned back to face Kevin, who was now looking at him with pleading eyes. “You… you have to help me get up. I can’t do it on my own. The – the pain…” Tears started running down his face again and he averted his head in shame. “The pain is just too bad. I’m sorry.”

Arnold’s eyes widened. If he wasn’t even capable of standing up, his companion had to be injured way worse than he had first thought. “O-Of course I’ll help you.”

Elder Cunningham bent down and grabbed Kevin underneath his arms. He could feel the other Mormon flinch at his touch. He carefully started to lift Elder Price, who immediately clenched his teeth and hissed in pain. It was breaking Arnold’s heart. Just what had these people done to him?

“I’m sorry, Elder Price, I’m sorry! But I just can’t do it any slower!”

Kevin didn’t reply. He just kept on groaning in pain, while Arnold kept on half-dragging his companion towards the car. How could a relatively slim 19-year-old be this heavy? He managed to get Elder Price into a seat and then kept standing in front of him, trying to get a better look at his face. Elder Cunningham hesitated for a few moments, but then spoke up again.

“How - how hurt are you? Where are you even hurt?”

Nothing.

“Please Elder Price, please tell me! I have to know to be able to help you,” he pleaded. “What _on earth_ did they do to you?”

Kevin opened his mouth as if to say something, but quickly snapped it shut again, letting his head sink towards his hands instead. Tears were already starting to form in his eyes again.

“Okay, okay! Or don’t tell me. It’s not that important. I’m sorry, please don’t cry! I’ll… I’ll just get in the car and drive us home.”

On the drive back to Kitguli neither of them said a word. Elder Price kept his head turned away from Arnold the whole time and pretended to be watching the deserted landscape they were passing by. He’d let out a pained gasp every time Elder Cunningham hit a particularly bad bump, but other than that stayed quiet. Arnold felt his heart shrinking. How could he ever make this right?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I'm not dead after all!  
> Sorry, if updating takes a long time, but I have a lot to do at the moment! University and stuff :O

After a short but uncomfortably silent drive to the mission center Arnold promptly killed the engine. He gave Kevin a hesitant glance accompanied by a faked smile.

“See? We’re here already!”

Kevin neither looked at him nor said a word. It seemed as though he hadn’t even heard Arnold speaking. Disheartened, Elder Cunningham got out of his seat and hurriedly walked towards Elder Price’s side of the jeep. He glanced up at the other Mormon. Kevin’s eyes were open but unfocused. He seemed to have aged ten years in the last few hours. Knots formed in Arnold’s stomach. His fault. His goddamn fault.

He tried to push the thought away and offered Kevin his hands. “Do you need – uh - _want_ my help?”

Elder Price squeezed his eyes shut. “I suppose so,” he groaned and after a short moment leaned into Arnold’s arms. Elder Cunningham carefully pulled him out of the car and together they took the few steps towards the front door. Kevin was leaning heavily on Arnold’s frame and continuously groaning in pain. Elder Cunningham just wished all this would end now, that this wasn’t happening. He didn’t know what to do in these sorts of situations, what to think even. Just a few hours ago he had been busy baptizing a beautiful girl and now he was half-dragging this corpselike version of his mission companion around. This would usually be the point where he’d let someone else take the lead, but there was no one around to help, so he had to be the strong one, had to figure out what to do.

Arnold pushed open the door, hoping that some of the others might have returned from their fruitless search for Kevin, but the common room was completely empty. Elder Price was getting heavier by the second. And he obviously still was in pain. Arnold wanted to cry.

“Wh-What should I do know?” He stammered, looking up at Elder Price for advice.

Kevin, who was busy trying to push back tears himself, groaned in response. “Just get me into bed… please. I really need to lie down.”

“Oh, okay – sure, I can do that!” But Arnold wasn’t so sure he could. His companion was getting really heavy and was starting to slowly slide out of his grip. Elder Cunningham roughly propped him up again, drawing a pained hissing sound from the other Mormon.

“I’m sorry!” He squealed, but Elder Price just limply nodded his head towards their room instead of responding. Arnold got the hint and together they managed to get Kevin down the short hallway and then through the door into their shared room.

Arnold got Kevin to the edge of his bed and just barely managed to throw open the covers before Elder Price wordlessly collapsed into it. Kevin’s face was covered in sweat, yet he was shivering all over. Unsure of what to do now Elder Cunningham picked the blanket up again and used it to cover his companion’s shaking form.

“Thank you,” Elder Price muttered softly, now actually meeting his eyes and giving the faintest hint of a politely faked smile. Arnold looked down at his companion. Kevin screwed his eyes shut and wound himself tightly into the blanket. There still were tear streaks on his face and he was still shaking. A slew of uncomfortable feelings, that Arnold couldn’t name, ate their way from his stomach up to his throat. His job here obviously wasn’t done. But what was he supposed to do now? He probably should be getting Gotswana, but Elder Cunningham couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Elder Price alone in his current state. What if something happened while he was gone? Hadn’t he screwed up enough already? But wouldn’t Kevin get worse if he didn’t get the doctor?

Through the thin walls Arnold could hear the front door opening as muffled voices filled their common room. One of them belonged to Elder McKinley. His heart jumped in relief. Connor was the district leader. He’d know what to do.

“I’ll be back in a few moments, okay?” He shot Kevin a quick and uncertain smile. “You just… stay where you are.”

“Where else would I go?” Elder Price muttered from beneath the blanket. Arnold didn’t know how to argue with that and hastily left their shared room.

The voices from the common room immediately fell quiet as the others heard the door open. Arnold quietly closed it behind himself and walked down the short hallway to meet with the other Elders. McKinley, Thomas, Church and Davis had seemingly been the first to abandon their search and had gathered in the common room, now staring at Arnold with expectant eyes.

“Well?” Elder Thomas was the first to speak up. “Is he in there? Did you actually find our little drama queen?”

Arnold hesitated. “Yes, he was-“

Thomas scoffed, clearly annoyed that he had had to spend a good part of his day searching for a sulky Kevin Price. Arnold reckoned that Thomas probably was the reason he and the others had returned this early, even if that meant turning up empty handed. “Let me guess, he got lost and then passed out from a heatstroke before even finding the General’s camp?” Thomas chuckled.

Arnold felt anger rising inside his guts. If Thomas had seen the state Kevin was in… If he had been the one to find his unconscious body… Then he wouldn’t be making stupid jokes.  “He- He actually is quite…” Arnold paused. He realized he still didn’t know just what was wrong with Elder Price. “He seems kind of - sick… very sick even. I don’t know… He’s just in a bad shape. He can’t even stand up on his own.”

The eyes of the other Mormons widened at that last sentence and Elder Cunningham realized he had said too much. At least now Elder Thomas’ smug grin had been wiped off his face.

“Oh my -” Elder McKinley clasped his hands above his mouth and looked at Arnold with worried eyes. “I-Is he injured? I’m the district leader… If he’s injured! But he’s not injured, is he? At least not seriously?“

Elder Cunningham nervously shuffled his feet and stared at the ground. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“Just… Look, he won’t tell me. And there are no visible wounds, but he’s just – gah, I don’t know! It’s really weird! You kind of just have to have seen him yourself.”

 “Well, can we go in then?” Davis took a few steps towards Arnold’s and Kevin’s door and tried to walk past Elder Cunningham, who immediately stretched out his arms.

“N-No! I don’t think he- That probably wouldn’t be good - with that many people and everything. He seems – uh - kind of… out of it?” Arnold looked back at Elder McKinley. “I think it’d be best, if only the two of us went back in. I kind of really need some help with this and you’re district leader…”

“Of course,” McKinley promptly shot back, wearing an iron expression on his face. “He is my responsibility after all.”


	5. Chapter 5

Elder McKinley took in the sight before him as Arnold closed the door. Elder Price looked awful. Just awful. Defeated, that was the right word to describe his face. Deflated, crushed – Those ones were good too.

Kevin opened his eyes and met his gaze. Shame washed over his face immediately. Elder Price clearly didn’t like being seen like this – Curled up inside his bed, covered in a blanket up to his chin, looking dirty and unkempt. But his eyes – his eyes made everything worse. Since the day they had met, Elder Price’s eyes had been shining – brimming with hope and enthusiasm. Now they looked flat and vacant, dead almost. Connor felt as though his own happiness was being drained by looking into them. Kevin quickly averted his gaze, seeming to have noticed McKinley’s thoughts. Great. He had already messed up the first eye contact.

“Elder Price.” Connor spoke as gently as possible and tried to smile. He reached out to touch the other’s shoulder in what he intended to be a comforting gesture. “It’s alright now.” But Kevin abruptly flinched away from his hand, producing some sort of scared gasp and staring at him with a terrified expression. Connor was startled. This reaction was not something he had anticipated. “I-I’m sorry! I just wanted to… help,” he stuttered, suddenly unsure of himself and his hand still raised in the air.

Elder Price gingerly propped himself up on his elbows and slowly pulled his upper body into a sitting position, all while still avoiding looking in McKinley’s direction and groaning in pain. “It’s fine,” He mumbled. “I don’t know why I did that- I know that you… you don’t-” Kevin’s voice broke mid-sentence and he let out an agonized sob.

Connor was getting terribly scared by what he was seeing. Elder Cunningham was right: Elder Price was acting really, _really_ weird. He seemed to be in shock, traumatized even. Connor didn’t know too much about these things, didn’t know what to do in such a situation. But he had deal with this now. As district leader this felt like his obligation. And seeing Elder Price this way made his stomach turn. Elder McKinley wanted to help, wanted to see those hopeful eyes come back again.

Strengthened by a newfound sense of determination he swiftly turned towards Arnold. “Elder Cunningham, I think you should go and get Gotswana. Elder Price needs to see a doctor.” Connor looked back at Kevin. “You do need a doctor right?” The other silently nodded. “Alright. You go now. I’ll stay here and take care of Elder Price.”

“Uh okay…” Arnold nervously looked at his fidgeting hands. “But what – What if Gotswana won’t come? It’s kind of late and he’ll probably-“

“Elder! You’re like a prophet to these people. He’ll come if you’re the one who’s asking.” McKinley gave him a stern look. He could see that the other Mormon was already beginning to feel overwhelmed by the task he had been given. “You’re the one who needs to do this.”

“Yeah, yeah you’re right. That’s right. I’m – I’ll be going then.” Elder Cunningham took a few steps towards the door.

“Oh – and take someone with you! It’s starting to get dark out - Elder Church maybe. And if you see any of the others, take them back here too, will you?”

“Yeah – I, I mean yes, of course.” Arnold took one shy look back at Elder Price and then hesitantly left.

Connor let out a deep sigh. Hopefully Elder Cunningham would be up to the task and get Gotswana here quickly. He didn’t seem like someone who was particularly capable of getting things done on his own – especially not in a situation such as this. But he really was the best choice for the job, he really had the best chance of convincing Gotswana. Connor returned his attention to Elder Price, whose face all of the sudden looked as though he was in a lot of pain.

“Oh my- Elder, what’s wrong?” Instinctively Elder McKinley reached out to touch the other Mormon’s arm, only to have his hand be forcefully pushed away.

“Please,” Kevin looked at him with his defeated eyes. “Don’t try to touch me.”

“Yes, yes of course.” Just why did he have to act so thoughtlessly? He paused. “Is it alright if I – if I sit down on the bed with you? It’s just kind of awkward if I stand in front of you the entire time, you know?”

“Go ahead.”

Elder McKinley silently positioned himself at the edge of the bed and they both fell silent. Neither of them looked at the other. Connor just now noticed how stuffy and hot the air was. Breathing felt somewhat difficult. McKinley’s eyes then fell onto Kevin’s wrists and he couldn’t help but examine the deeply purple bruises that cut into them, proving that he had been hurt.

Elder Price swiftly pulled his hands up to his chest and started clutching his left wrist. “It’s nothing,” he mumbled.

“Elder Price…” Connor hesitated, reluctantly looking back up at Kevin’s now paled face. “What – just what exactly did they do to you?”

McKinley saw the other Mormon tightening the grip on his wrist, a flash of agony rushing over his features.

“They tied my hands together,” he murmured, pensively examining the purple discoloration on his skin.

“No – I meant… I wanted to know what else – Whatever it was they tied you up for.”

Kevin’s face immediately darkened. He didn’t respond.

“Look… I know this is terribly difficult for you, but…” Connor tried to speak as gently and softly as possible. “I can take better care of you if you tell me what they did. I won’t tell the others. I promise.”

Tears welled up in Elder Price’s eyes as he tried to stifle a new wave of sobs. Then, after a long pause, he whispered: “I got taught a lesson.”

A lump was forming in McKinley’s throat. “What – what do you mean?”

 “I – I know it was my fault. I shouldn’t even have gone there. Shouldn’t have walked into that camp like a _goddamn_ idiot. Then he wouldn’t have - have…” Elder Price’s voice was breaking now. “It… It hurt _so bad._ I never felt pain that horrible. And they laughed… the whole time they laughed at me.“ Kevin was openly crying now and had raised his hands to cover his face.

Elder McKinley desperately wanted to reach out, wanted to take Kevin into his arms, make him feel safe again. But he knew he couldn’t and so he just sat there and stared at Elder Price, whose last bit of composure was now breaking down completely as he kept on talking.

“The guards – they, they gripped me - tied me up… they pushed me down and then he – the General – he…” Violent sobs were shaking Kevin’s whole body and he suddenly reached forward, gripping Connor’s arm. “You cannot understand what it felt like! The pain, _the shame_. And I don’t even know - I couldn’t see… But the pain – it was so bad.”

Elder McKinley was so taken aback by the sudden outburst, that for a few moments he didn’t react, didn’t know what he could possibly say. And for some reason he started to feel nauseous. Why would Elder Price not say? What could be that bad? Elder McKinley could only really think of one thing - One thing that would be too horrible for Kevin to say out loud. But that was impossible. Something like that - couldn’t have happened so close to Connor. Plus Kevin was a man. Men didn’t get – couldn’t get… Yet it seemed so plausible… with the way Elder Price was behaving: not looking at him, not wanting to be touched and being in a lot of pain without showing any serious injuries… Still. It couldn’t be – just couldn’t be that. McKinley wasn't able to make much sense of what Kevin had tried telling him, didn’t know whether it confirmed his suspicions or not.

Elder Price continued weeping and hid his face in his hands, letting go of Connor’s arm. Elder McKinley hesitantly raised his hand and then cautiously placed it on Kevin’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. The other flinched a little, but seemed to relax after a short moment and even removed the hands from his face to look up at Connor.

Elder McKinley gave the other Mormon a stern look. “You are safe here. The General won’t hurt you anymore.”

Tears kept welling up in Kevin’s eyes. “That’s – that’s not true… there’s still something – something…” He paused, trying to swallow a new wave of sobs and averting his head in shame. “I can’t – I can’t say it. It’s too ridiculous.”

“Elder Price. You can tell me. Whatever he did.”

“I don’t want you to laugh at me.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Kevin didn’t respond for a few moments, then drew a heavy, stuttering breath. “The General, he – I don’t know what it was, I couldn’t see – He forced something _inside_ of me. And it – it… It’s still _there_.” Kevin let out a tortured sob and balled his hands into fists. Finally he looked back up at Connor with fearful eyes, apparently already regretting opening up and dreading the other’s reaction. “I told you it was ridiculous.”

Elder McKinley felt something rising inside of him, something he hadn’t felt this strongly in a long time, something he was usually capable of pushing down – Rage. How could that man – that sick bastard – dare to do something like this? He looked over Kevin, who appeared so lost, so defeated, so _broken_ and wondered how anyone could enjoy willfully inflicting that amount of pain on someone else. This was horrible. And Connor didn’t know how to make it even the slightest bit better. What could he say to someone who had just gone through that kind of hell?

“That – That’s _not_ ridiculous –It’s horrifying…” was what he managed to get out of himself. Deciding it wasn’t good enough he added: “Elder Pri- Kevin, I’m so – _so_ sorry. This shouldn’t have happened to you.” Connor leaned forward and with a voice as reassuring as he could muster he promised: “Elder Cunningham and I, we are going to take care of you. You will be alright again.”

“You can’t know that,” was the last thing Kevin said before falling silent. It seemed his interest in talking had died down. Elder McKinley understood. Telling him about – that – must have cost him a lot of energy. So instead they both sat in silence, waiting for Arnold to return.


End file.
